We live in a business environment where sports metaphors are used all the time.

“Step up to the plate”

“Block and tackle”

“Dropped the ball”

“Full court press”

“Par for the course”

Or one from my country “sticky wicket”

And many, many, many more.

Now I’m not going to discuss whether we should use them or not…too late for that! But as we use them, it occurred to me that we have made an assumption that with all these sports analogies, business must be the same. But is it?

Is business all about winning? Is it really about beating the other person or company? Do we see ourselves as gladiators sent into battle where we are fighting for our lives and winning is the last person standing? 

I don’t think so. Although I have often come across people who think that, fortunately they are in the minority. I’m a great believer in what goes round, comes round, and I’ve been around long enough to see this in practice. Most of the people in business that I have seen exhibit the “winner takes all” approach, have lived to regret it.

It is NOT all about winning. It can’t be, because of that was the case we would all constantly be at each other’s throats.

WIN-WIN is an expression used by many sales coaching companies and was one of the foundations of the Miller Heiman Conceptual Selling program. We all negotiate all of the time. Whether it is ensuring our kids go to bed on time, they do their chores or if we are discussing with our spouse what errands will be run and when. We also negotiate with our clients and our own suppliers, employees and friends.

How can we do a better job so that we don’t take the position of having to win all the time? Here’s some ideas on how best to achieve a WIN-WIN.

Understand the other person’s point of view

Ask questions and find out what they want and why. Don’t disregard their views and try and steamroll over them. Ask their viewpoint and respect their opinion, because you’ll need their cooperation to solve the problem.

Put yourself in their shoes

What makes the other person tick? What are THEIR aspirations and what are they trying to accomplish. Until we understand that, whatever we say or try and get them to agree too will be futile.

Focus on the REAL issue

To take emotion out of the moment, agree the real issue using simple and when possible, factual terms. You won’t be able to agree on a solution without an agreement on the problem! If the situation is large or complex, look for ways to break it down into smaller chunks to deal with one issue at a time. Make sure you are dealing with the facts.

Collaborate for the best options

Rather than being opposed, get on the same side by finding and establishing similarities and common goals. However you choose to brainstorm ideas, focus on the future, talk about what is to be done and tackle the problem jointly. Come up with a joint best options.

Decide together on the best solution

Make sure everyone involved leaves the situation feeling they have won. Agree to future action steps and responsibilities, complete with time lines and how success will be measured. Ensure we maintain the relationship.

Creating a Win-Win isn’t about compromising…it’s hard work and it truly ensures that the best solution is found for all concerned.