When most people hear the word “networking,” they think of awkward events filled with stiff conversations, business card swaps, and thinly veiled sales pitches. For solopreneurs and small business owners, the pressure to “work the room” and generate leads can make networking feel like a chore—or worse, a waste of time.

I often criticize networking, especially at SEGC meetings, mainly because it seems to be an excuse for individuals to gather and sell to each other as opposed to “connecting’ and bringing knowledge, experience, and value to each other.

But there’s a better way.

What if networking wasn’t about getting something from people—but about genuinely connecting with people?

That’s the heart of networking with empathy.

Beyond Transactions: Why Empathy Matters

Traditional networking tends to be transactional: “What do you do?” followed by “Here’s what I do” and then, maybe, “Let’s talk if you ever need X.” The problem with this approach is that it treats people like prospects instead of humans.

Empathy flips the script. Instead of approaching a conversation with the goal of getting, you start with the goal of understanding.

Empathetic networking is about curiosity, generosity, and meaningful connection. It’s rooted in the belief that business is personal—and relationships, not transactions, create the greatest long-term value.

Three Principles of Empathetic Networking

1. Be Curious, Not Clever

When we enter a networking interaction trying to prove how smart or successful we are, we miss opportunities to learn about the other person. Empathetic networking means showing up with sincere curiosity.

Ask real questions:

• What are you working on right now that excites you?

• What’s a challenge you’re facing?

• What kind of support or connections would be helpful?

Then listen—really listen. People are more likely to remember how you made them feel than what you said. Being heard is one of the most powerful experiences you can give someone.

2. Offer Value Without Expectation

The best networkers aren’t thinking “How can this person help me?” They’re asking, “How can I help this person?”

That might mean:

• Recommending a resource you love

• Making a warm introduction

• Sending a follow-up article or tool that’s relevant to something they mentioned

The key is to offer value generously, without strings attached. When you give with no agenda, you build trust—and trust is the foundation of powerful networks.

3. Be Authentic with Follow Up 

We’ve all met someone at an event and then… nothing. The connection fades because no one follows up with intention.

Authentic follow-up is different. It’s personal and thoughtful. Maybe it’s a quick note saying, “I really enjoyed our conversation,” or a message a few weeks later to check in, congratulate them on a milestone, or share something relevant.

This doesn’t have to be time-consuming. A few sincere follow-ups a week can have more impact than dozens of shallow connections.

Making Empathy a Practice

Empathetic networking isn’t a tactic—it’s a mindset. And like any mindset, it becomes more natural with practice.

Here are a few habits you can adopt:

• Set a weekly goal to reconnect with one person from your network with no agenda

• Before a meeting or event, remind yourself to focus on listening over talking

• Keep notes on people’s goals, interests, and personal details so your follow-ups are meaningful

• Celebrate others—comment on their posts, share their work, or refer them to others

Networking built on empathy grows deeper over time. You’ll begin to notice your network becoming less about who you know and more about who knows you as someone who cares.

In a noisy, fast-paced world, empathy is your networking superpower. It cuts through the superficial. It builds trust. It leads to opportunities not because you asked for them, but because people want to work with you, refer you, and support you.

Forget the elevator pitch. Lead with empathy. Connect human to human.

Because when you network from a place of care, generosity, and curiosity—you don’t just build contacts.

You build community.

Photo by Getty Images for Unsplash+